From Scratch…
This mini-series took me by surprise, I never expected it! The series started off like the typical love story, boy meets girl, girl meets boy and they fall in love.
But then it suddenly took me on an emotional tear-jerker journey. I was sniffing, wiping my runny nose with the sleeve of my sweater as tears streamed down my eyes; and I would say out loud as I sniffed and cried at the screen, “What the heck!”
The series captures love, and how it starts but goes further, it shows us how it lasts. The fight that is very often required to keep even the best of couples going… because there will be times when as UK artiste Cheryl Cole sang, “We’ve got to fight for this love.”
One thing that stood out for me in the relationship between the two characters (Amy and Lino) is how their worlds merged, while they maintained their individuality to some degree. Weeks ago, I was thinking about the word ‘merge’ and how important it is in a relationship.
When I think of merging in a relationship, two words come to mind, and that is communication and invitation. Two hearts do not become one without those two ingredients. When there is freedom and safety to unfold before a person, to share your thoughts, frustrations, dreams, and disappointments, a fusion happens as you lead that person into the chambers of your soul.
Amy and Lino communicated constantly, nothing was off limits. Lino vocalized his sadness and frustration as an immigrant in America, and Amy did not hold back either. She was vocal about a number of things as well, like not wanting Lino’s flirtatious female friend anywhere around.
The more they communicated they became one as they could see things through the other person’s eyes. There were scenes where Amy would look at Lino, and without words, you could tell she knew what he was thinking and this was because he had verbally expressed things to her.
An invitation is an intentional action. Whenever I hosted parties, I did not put out my home address on the World Wide Web or leave my doors open for just about everyone (and I don’t think you do that either). For parties, we seat (or stand!) and come up with a guest list, and then we reach out to the people on that list.
In the context of a relationship, inviting someone into your world can be difficult especially if you haven’t had the best experience when you did that in the past; however, to merge in a relationship, you need to intentionally bring that other person into your world.
So, that may mean, sharing details of your day with them, inviting them to family functions, meeting up with friends, or to your home. An invitation lets the other person know you want them to be a part of your life, without that intentional pull-in he/she will always wonder if you want them at all, and if nothing changes, he/she could leave.
As I think of it now, communication and invitation (in this context) are the same, because communication is also an invitation to know and to be known.
